Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Survey says...

Is this a cat or a human in heat? It sounds here like a cat, but there are other times I question...

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Those Pesky Painkillers

Recently I had a (mild) operation. My doctor gave me pain relievers to help out post-op and I used that to my full advantage.

Last week I went to Prohibition to blow off some steam with friends. It's one of my favorite places to frequent with a fun atmosphere and great music and as usual, hilarity ensued...

I've been hanging out with this guy Chad for a bit now. I am intrigued by him and have decided that I would like to figure out how he feels too. The problem: as I've stated before, I am a little awkward and shy when it comes to expressing myself and unlike most people who eventually swallow it up, I often find myself concocting elaborate schemes to get myself a beau and unfortunately they have about a 40% success rate. And why should this be any different? So in usual form I thought that I could pretend to be a little high on my pain-killers (I am actually 100% drug and alcohol free) and let him know that I'm interested.

Upon arrival I did my best 'high' act which includes: slight drowsiness, low eyelids, a smile and an abnormal amount of giggling...I think. I should've realized that about 20 minutes into my scheme I'd come to the conclusion that this was a bad idea, I always do but by then I'm too far in to back out.

So I went for the gold. As he wrapped his arm around me, sitting in our booth, I turned to him and said in my slightly 'stoned' voice, "hey, hey...I like you." He chuckled, I held my ground and for some reason though that repeating myself would really get my point across. "Hey, hey...I like you." Pause. Pause. Not a good idea.

Luckily, gal pal swooped in to save the little bit of dignity I had left and whisked me home. I was actually more relieved to drop the whole 'baked' act then anything and have vowed to myself that the scheming must come to a halt. Until next time, there's always a next time.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Keeping It Casual

It's safe to say that while I'm a dramatic person of sorts, I'm actually painfully shy when it comes to my feelings.

Case in point:

I spent a fabulous six months dating this guy named Jared. We had a great time together and we laughed all the time. He let me talk his ear off about my obsession with Musicals and David Bowie's hair from Labrynth and I think he actually enjoyed it.

At one point in the relationship I left the city for a month to visit family. During this time things got weird so I'd do some Facebook stalking (you all know you do it) and noticed this girl commenting on his page all the time. While sitting on my parents couch, cotton balls in between toes and bag o' chips in tow, he asked me if I'd noticed this girl writing on his wall. Instead of the obvious answer (YES!) I decided to be the 'cool girl' and lie, lie, lie, lie, lie. So I said no. He told me that it was nothing anyway and not to worry if I ever saw it.

Another few weeks goes by and it gets increasingly awkward, so I finally ask him in my most casual voice what is going on. I get the story from him that he doesn't know, feels bad, wants to work it out, blah, blah, blah and I suggest that if there's anything going on with the FB girl then he should explore it, I don't want to hold him back. He said that he had no desire to and that's when I said what I didn't mean, and nobody wants to hear. I said "Well, I can go either way." Silence on the other end.

'I can go either way?' as in, "Hey, wanna go to the movies tonight?" "Oh, I don't know, I could go either way." Or "Hey, how do you feel about Mexican or Chinese for dinner?" "Hm...could go either way." NOT "I really like you and want to work this out," "Well, I could go either way."

Sheesh. Brilliant Shelley, Brilliant.