New York State of Mind

This past week provided plenty of adventures with friends in town that have never been to the city before. Naturally, I loved playing tour guide (not) but was happy to do it none the less, plus it would give me an opportunity to prove how awesomely New York I am.

While down in Times Square, my friend asked a random passerby to take our picture. As we’re getting read y to pose, sweet friend asked the photographer to make sure the Eiffel Tower was in the picture. I let out a petty laugh and informed her that we weren’t in France and that we’d actually like to have the Empire State Building in our picture if they could find an angle to fit it in. Duh. The photographer stared at me for a moment and replied that it was actually the Chrysler Building but yes, they could fit it in the photo. Awkward.

So I vowed to myself that not only will that never happen again, but I will also know random facts about the two buildings to look like I know even more than everyone else.

FACT:

1. The Empire State Building was originally designed to be a landing platform for Blimps but was decided against due to the wind blowing through the buildings.
2. In 1979 a woman jumped off the 86th floor of the Empire State Building to kill herself but the wind blew her back into the 85th floor and she only broke her hip.
3. There is a race every year called The Empire State Building Run Up that goes from the ground floor to the 86th floor. The record is currently held at 9 minutes and 33 seconds. (Seriously? That’s nuts..)
4. The gargoyles at the top of the Chrysler building were modeled after the hood ornaments on Chrysler automobiles.
5. The original design for the Chrysler Building featured a 12 story base of glass wrapped corners to give the illusion that the crown on top was floating but proved to be too expensive.

Words of Wisdom...

I can’t help but notice the sudden change in weather…the sun is out, birds are chirping and everywhere I look the gals are sporting sundresses. Well ladies…be careful!

Last summer I was wearing a strapless sundress much like this one from Anthropologie. It was a hot and muggy day, and I was desperately trying to wear as few layers as possible, so naturally I decided to go solo up top (ahem…no bra). As I was sitting on the train, I realized the ridiculously handsome guy sitting next to me. The rest of my train ride was spent focusing on how to discreetly angle my iphone so I could see his reflection. Without realizing it, I was about to miss my stop. I jumped out of my seat also not realizing that the person on the other side of me was sitting on part of my dress. As I bolted out of my seat, my dress stayed under the persons rear sitting next to me…and thus I showed the entire busy-afternoon/just-off-of-work train my tots. Oh and it was my birthday.

So the next time you’re throwing on that strapless dress and discarding other (essential) layers, keep in mind the laws of gravity! It could happen to you!

How to Change a Light Bulb

Sick in the City

A survey taken by American Community in 2007, revealed that over half of current New Yorkers-more precisely 52.7%- moved to the city from either another country or another state. In fact, if you’re reading this, there’s a very good chance that you’re one of those people.

Furthermore, The American Academy of Pediatrics reports that 83%-95% of individuals in a new environment will experience symptoms of homesickness. This means that nearly half of New Yorkers could be experiencing nostalgia. How funny is that?

My 18 year old self went through some similar motions in a more extreme way...my first day in New York didn’t prove that promising. After a sleepless night resulting in endless vomiting, my new roommate begged me to make a Bed, Bath and Beyond run. I couldn’t fathom leaving the apartment but she was one persistent bugger so I agreed to go on the condition that she pay for us to take a cab to the store and back.

As we’re breezing down Central Park East, I began feeling a little clammy. Suddenly I got hot flashes, a familiar lump was rising in my throat, and I quickly realized this was a bad idea. I frantically searched for a bag, any bag, as my mouth started to water. I really, really didn’t want to hurl in a cab. I started rolling down the slowest window I’ve ever encountered in my entire life and as soon as I found a clearing for my head to fit, I let it run in all God’s glory. And there I was, my first day in New York City, projectile vomiting out the window of a cab going down Fifth Avenue. Not one of my finest moments, and I dearly hoped this wasn’t a foreshadowing of my future life in the city.

Unfortunately, it’s been an accurate reflection thus far.

Gotham Centric

By nature, New Yorkers are convinced that nothing but a wasteland exists between NYC and Hollywood. If I had become that powerful Manhattan woman I had once fantasized about then my idea of “roughing it” would be a nice weekend at Canyon Ranch. Unfortunately, that is not the case; I once spent a night with no place to stay and went to three friends houses before I found a bed that was available for use, but that’s another story for another day.

Last week I went to the doctor due to some recurring stomach pains. While my car salesman-like doctor was poking my abdomen, he began making obligatory small talk. Upon revelation of my mid-western roots, he questioned how I feel about living in the Big Apple. After replying that I love this place, he said, “Well, you’d have to love this place compared to Utah. I’ll bet there’s nothing to do there.” Well, there may not be Broadway and the Met out West, but what about the Mountains and the Lakes? What about the great outdoors? There’s a lot to do in a place where you can see a canopy of stars, build a tree house and at one point in time, even sleep with your door unlocked.

After this conversation I voiced my concerns to the nurse that I would pass out during my blood work. She objected and declared that she could hold my interest and then asked me to elaborate on who I thought was better looking, Vin Diesel or Paul Walker…Bless her heart.

I left that office hoping I never become so Gotham centric that I consider New Jersey the epitome of western living. While I am fully capable of admitting how naïve I am, New York can be a little naïve as well.

Starry-Eyed and Tongue Tied

I moved to New York City almost eight years ago from a little old place called Farmington, Utah. As a child, I dreamt of living in a place that was thriving. Even at the mention of New York City, I would grow starry-eyed and tongue-tied. I always imagined myself as a sassy, metropolitan woman, working at a demanding and powerful job, making a fat paycheck and wearing fabulous clothes.

Imagine my surprise when I stepped off the M10 bus in front of my brand new apartment on 107^th street. My young self assumed I was moving to a glamorous building since it was right off Central Park West and my new roommates mentioned that we lived on the top floor so naturally, I assumed it was a penthouse. How could I be so lucky? And that’s when the record player came to a scratchy halt. My building smelled rather stale, my bedroom could hold only my twin blow up mattress and the only views I enjoyed were of the building next door and the airshaft covered in pigeon poop. But still, I vowed that I would conquer this city!

Well, after eight years of life as a New Yorker, I realize that I’ve only really conquered my four flights of stairs and my speed dial full of take out bodegas (they cancel each other out…right?) Maybe I’m not that high-powered woman and perhaps I’m a little naïve but that’s okay. Not all New York women are super heroes; in fact, a lot of us are still trying to figure out which way the subway is, although we’d never admit it.

Welcome to my world! Let’s explore the harsh yet hilarious realities of a naïve girl living in the Big City.